It's not language that I think about, but my heart.
The language of the heart.
Images that express the inner maelstrom which enable me to understand while rushing into the future.
Or expressing you, your distant pounding.
How can my heart be your heart?
Is it a metaphoric centre of feeling? Where it tightens or beats too strongly or dissolves into pain? How did we create a vocabulary of love based on physiological reactions? Or is there a consciousness located in the beating organ? Expansiveness, the warmth and beauty of love. A knowingness of the heart? Where we breath.
A person's "real being is his heart, and in pain the heart becomes living and without pain man seems to be living on the surface." The Sufi master, Hazrat Inayat Khan (A Bowl of Saki
, Aug 15th, 2007). If we live and work with our body and mind without our heart, he says, we haven't lived. Pain brings the heart alive. When purified of bitterness, the light of existence shines through. Then we become a "source of all goodness," and acts of kindness are easy.
It beats. It is knotted. Untangle the knots of the heart.
In Tantric Buddhism much consideration is devoted to the careful untangling of the Anahata Chakra, the heart centre, with purifying sounds of mantra and visualizations of yantra. The Heart Sutra.
"A giving which gives only its gift, but in the giving holds itself back and withdraws, such a giving we call sending."
"Why are there beings at all, instead of Nothing?" Martin Heidegger
Give me platitudes, admonish me.
How do I write about fragility? What is it to be fragile? Shouldn't I allow the images to emerge and let feeling sort itself out from there? Can the expression come before the content? Do we learn about ourselves from what we do and say retrospectively?
Is life a backwards motion forwards?
I am always only catching up with myself. A lapse between beats.
An underlying combination of emotions, passions, thoughts, memories, talents, from which emerge words, images that express the inner maelstrom. Where the heart forever untangles itself.
If we can plummet the visceral reaction we can discover our feelings?
Appetites, emotions and feelings, from the simple to the complex. A spectrum where feeling is a complex nexus of interconnections, and we are irretrievably connected.
For me to have empathy, compassion, I need the full range from lived experience to understanding, don't I?
Does a newborn understand perfectly?