In my bedroom curtain, that I was sewing, a small dead fly fell out. Deep teal sheen under wings of sheer grey symmetry, vacant gaze of compound eye.

Tonight I dug out of storage and heaved upstairs 30 years of private journals: these are my stones tonight.

My green ash is hermaphroditic and functionally female, knobby brown flower clusters, bunches of seed pods, a Niun among maples and cedars.

direct link: White Petal

Experimenting... always learning! Trying this and that with the footage. Having fun, and it shows in the humour of the piece.

I wanted to do a voiceover, a narration — thinking a Wong Kar Wai style. You will see there are sections to this visual poem. Doubles, single, shifts in colour and style as the yoga dance continues.

Here are a few scribbles, that perhaps will or won't work:

I live in a city in a small apartment. Fabric covers a doorway and shelves. I'd like to see myself dance before it is too late.

Faded opulence. Over-the-edge-of. Yet floral abundance. The flowers are the stars—beauty, that edge of fading.

Doubles. Who are we? Repetitions of ourselves. Our memories create us in our fragmentary identities. I fold into who I was or who I will become. Uncertainty is confusing. People flee from my uncertainty.

White Petal

Look into a dissolving mirror
bones, skin, neurons

the self-image.

This poem is not neat as intact
petal veins, mysterious as garden
fossils.

The poem writes,
rises from ruminations, dried
flowers on my spine
bursting seeds.

_
Danced, videoed, edited by Brenda Clews; background music by Gabrielle Roth and the Mirrors, from an old favourite, Initiation: ​http://gabrielleroth.com/​

More stills from White Petal, which I've continued working on. It was just a test dance session, but I like working with clips where there is no pressure to produce anything. Sometimes merit blossoms out of such unintentional projects. Playing, experimenting, learning... as usual, the stills are better than the flick.









Flowers are from video I took in my neighbourhood specifically for White Petal.

A old frock, barefoot, every inch of warm summer air welcoming to the skin which sinks into it; in the warmth, I am innerly pliable.

SELF FIGHT on Vimeo

Despite the struggle to remove it, the cutting and the blood, the mask does not come off. This leaves me with many thoughts about the ways we construct ourselves -the social constructionists would say we are entirely constructed through reiteration of performatives. Repeating our models. Perhaps the mask is who he pretended to be that became more who he was than his, ...his original configuration. Stunning short piece. A visual poem!

Note on street over potted plant that is later gone-

direct link: White Petal (it's unlisted, so won't show at my public YouTube site)

On mornings when my adult children aren't around, I have begun to try to dance. It's a small space; there are kilim carpets and furniture. I have a 24min tape which is short enough to convince me to go ahead, and which you can hear a little of here. I've videoed a few of these exercise sessions to see what sort of moves I make, never having seen myself dance before beginning to make video dance poems recently. I am trying to choreograph two long pieces for tracks composers and musicians have sent me to work with.

This cut was 'live,' as is, though I did layer it with filters. And then I went out late afternoon to video white flowers in the neighbourhood for it. I have layered a few of those beauties in - not sure if this works the way I have done it, or not. I added a touch of flicker to the white rose at the beginning and think maybe I should carry it through to the hibiscus-like one at the end. If I wanted to make a proper video out of this piece, I would need to re-do it I think - because with the flowers added, the table and chest in the corner are visually distracting. In my morning practice, I put on the music and begin moving (ok, not with the outfit, but that's to see if it works for a future video), and I do not, repeat, do not move furniture!

Danced, videoed, edited by Brenda Clews; background music by Gabrielle Roth and the Mirrors, from an old favourite, Initiation.

As usual, some stills (click for larger) (I always think my work looks better in stills from than in the video:) (posted these in a previous post too, impatient with waiting for the videos to upload:):